I had every intention of going to school tomorrow. Tired of feeling tired. Tired of feeling weak.
This will pass soon and everything will be back to normal. I’ve been flying under the radar for so long, I’m not sure even I realized how quickly I fell.
It’s easy for me to make it to the top, it’s staying there that I always have a problem with. I shouldn’t stop taking my medicine, I know better. It’s too easy to pack away certain emotions into a tiny little box over my heart. The only problem is the sheer weight of the box is sure to topple me over unless I get control back. No more heavy hearts. No more excuses.
I guess I’m feeling helpless because this setback has been purely health related. Physical health over mental health, for once. I’m sure to be in tip-top shape in no time. Just in time to put myself in the number one position for the Summer conference. I’ve had a hard time recently, but I’m proud that my confidence hasn’t been shaken.
Today marks seventeen months of dating between Bobby and I. On NYE, we each wrote out 6 dates we’d like to go on for our anniversary and put them in a jar. Yesterday at midnight we shook up the jar and I picked out our secret date that just so happened to be one of mine. I’m looking forward to next month so much!
We’re both so busy these days, it’s nice to look forward to one great date night outside of our usual badass-ery.
There’s something about the smell of my apartment that’s wildly comforting. Aged like an old library, fresh with the air from outside seeping through the cracks in the insulation, mixed with a hint of yesterday’s dinner, and the lingering scent of tobacco from the previous owners.
1. First and foremost, my two beautiful nephews were born this year to two amazing parents (Lauren and Pablo). Their beautiful faces have a comfy home in my heart.
2. Moving into my first apartment with the love of my life, Bobby.
3. Deciding to finish my undergrad degree AND pull a 4.0.
4. Learning how to ride a bike! It took me 23 years, but I quickly learned.
5. Getting a job at Gamestop to help support the little home Bobby and I have created.
6. Being blessed with multiple trips out of town. As well as seeing Cass McCombs perform twice and he accepting a friendship bracelet from me. And FFF6 was too good!
7. Every trip ever spent at SPI. Whether is was Bobby, Bobbie and I locking the doors and playing card games until it was time for bed, or exploring pieces of the city. It was all magical.
8. Mastering the art of crochet. I haven’t picked it up in a while, but at the end of last year I taught myself and through the summer I became very proficient in the art of granny squares!
and last, but not least:
9. Deleting Facebook! I deleted it this summer and it’s probably been the best decision ever. I know it’s something small, even unimportant, but having to work that much harder at communicating with friends or learning about people’s lives have made it so worth it.
Today we celebrated Christmas with 5 different family’s. Pos little to say to know, I’m exhausted. …and I should really get to bed. Work tomorrow and I have a feeling we’re going to be busy with holiday returns.
P.s. I’m so absolutely, madly in love with my new kindle!
Bobby and I celebrated our own private “Christmas” a few days ago. We decided since we’re not too religious, we should have a special night together so that today and tomorrow are reserved for family and friends.
We spent the night in, made some delicious drinks, and opened all of our presents that we got for eachother. Then we played with all of our new toys all night. I got him a new dsi, skyward sword, a tears for fears record, and a zelda magnet. He got me a new tamagotchi, cooking mama 3d, a k’nex mario kart race track, and my 3ds+ocarina of time. Moral of the story is that we’re two kids with an adult-sized bank account and our own apartment. We’re awesome.
I’m going to build us a living room fort before he gets home! <3
It’s another one of those nights where I can’t sleep. I’m not sure if I’m trying all that hard though. Bobbie to my left and Bobby to my right. Fast asleep. I want to be where they are, but I haven’t been trying hard enough. I’m not quite ready to give in to bed yet. I think I’ll have a cigarette on my balcony and relax my head. I need to mentally prepare myself before I can clear my head enough to actually sleep. Ugh.
Tomorrow I have a busy day at work. We’re getting a visit from upper management and I’m the lucky employee that gets to either: 1) be told how terrible the store looks or (hopefully) 2) how awesome I am. I have a feeling we’re going to get a great review, but maybe I’m just overly optimistic because of the hour/delirium/clouded judgement.